


Wouldn't Go In There If I Were You

by cloudings



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Humor, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Short One Shot, poor Neville
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 16:31:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20177344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudings/pseuds/cloudings
Summary: Of course, out of everybody who would walk in on the two of them having sex, it would be Neville. It's always Neville.RE-UPLOAD!!!!





	Wouldn't Go In There If I Were You

**Author's Note:**

> hey! this may seem familiar to some of you. unfortunately, the original of this fic got deleted, so i have had to re-upload it! thanks so much for reading!

He honestly hadn’t meant to do it. It was an accident, an accident that perhaps spiralled to ruin his entire life. 

Neville stood still at the door, mouth agape and eyes as wide as saucers. His palm was sweaty against the wood of the door and he just wanted to go to sleep, he had just headed up to go to bed after a long, long day and an excruciating walloping from Professor Sprout in his Herbology lesson. 

He wasn’t listening when the others made jokes -  _ Wouldn’t go up there yet if I were you, Merlin, you’re braver than I am -  _ Neville just assumed that they meant the room had somehow developed into a greater pigsty than how they’d left it that morning. 

He certainly hadn’t expected this. He hadn’t thought, in maybe even a million years, that he would come back to see this sight. 

Neville didn’t even know Harry was  _ gay.  _

And yet there it was, right in front of him. Upon Harry’s bed was not just the owner but Draco Malfoy, of all bloody people. Draco Malfoy was on the bed, identifiable only by his messy mop of hair that was usually so pristine. Now, instead of the stylish sweep that usually rest upon his head, was a mess which was complete with only Harry’s large hand tousled in it. In fact, it seemed to be gripping Draco’s hair incredibly tightly, Neville would have been worried that his hair would start coming out in chunks. 

Behind him was Harry, utterly none the wiser to Neville’s presence now at the door. He supposed that he thought nobody would’ve come and interrupted them. He seemed to be entirely focused on one thing, and that very thing was completely ravishingly Draco Malfoy’s arse with his cock. 

The way that Harry’s hips moved was absolutely mesmerising. Neville almost forgot where he was for a moment. He remembered Seamus telling him once about these films, these dirty films that shouldn’t have been seen by anyone who was of the age they were when it was discussed. But Neville had gone to look at it anyway. It was a reminder of that, Neville remembered, the sweat-slick skin and the hearty grunts and moans, the hot  _ slap, slap, slap _ continuously sounding like sweet music to Neville’s ears. 

He hadn’t meant to do it. It was an accident. It was an accident too, when his hand travelled down to his crotch, which was all of a sudden piquing with a very intense interest. He wasn’t too sure why he was getting, uh, aroused at the sight in front of him. Maybe it was just because it was the act of sex, because Neville had never seen it in real life before, never gotten anywhere near it himself. He was quite sure it wasn’t because the two people that were rutting like dogs in heat were both men, and that the room smelled strongly of masculinity and testosterone. 

He felt every inch of his body tense even more so than it was already, if that was at all possible in any way, when Harry yanked Draco Malfoy up by his hair, exposing the man’s face, twisted with pleasure, mouth drooling satisfied saliva down his chin. His eyes were closed, but every so often they flickered open, much to fuel Neville’s nervous disposition, however the pupils of his eyeballs were just rolled upwards into his head. He watched Draco Malfoy’s arms almost collapse underneath him, clearly too far into a trance due to the things  _ happening  _ to focus on keeping himself steady. 

Harry reached up and very quickly - perhaps impulsively - smacked Draco Malfoy harshly on the arse. Neville was worried for a second before he heard the extremely pleased noise that came out of the mouth from the receiver. Harry did it again, and again, and Neville found his cock growing harder and harder as he watched. 

He blinked. He was watching Harry fuck Draco Malfoy. 

He was  _ still  _ watching Harry fuck Draco Malfoy. 

Hold on. Why the  _ fuck  _ was Harry fucking Draco Malfoy? 

“Oh my god,” Neville said quite clearly, and he watched both Harry and Malfoy’s heads snap up in shock. “Oh my god!”

“Oh my god,” Harry repeated. “Neville —”

“Fucking hell.” Malfoy’s arms must have given out, because he fell face first into the bed once Harry’s hand ripped from his hair and rushed to cover himself. “Longbottom, piss  _ off. _ ”

“Oh my god!” Neville shouted now, grabbing the door handle with his sweaty hand and hiding his quite clearly tented crotch with his other hand. “What— What are– You two— You two!” 

“Us  _ fucking  _ two, Longbottom!” Malfoy shouted back, though his voice was muffled by the sheets that his face was pushed into. “Him fucking me - m _ -me- e- e,  _ oh,  _ fuck! _ ” His head snapped up again and Neville watched him bite his lip down hard, eyes scrunched up again. Neville wasn’t sure whether or not he wanted to know what had happened between them in order to trigger that reaction. 

“Harry!” Neville squeaked at him, his gaze almost betrayed. Harry didn’t seem to care though, and in hindsight, Neville could deduce why. He clearly had far more important things to tend to at that moment, things that included his cock being however-many inches deep into the arse of Draco Malfoy. 

He sighed deeply and hit himself in the head, exposing his crotch, though he was quite sure that neither of them would notice the situation that was going on in his nether regions. He pulled the door shut tightly and the doorknob practically slipped out of his hands as it slammed. 

Neville gulped, still hearing the grunts and moans that were coming from inside the room. In amidst all of the happenings inside, Neville had almost forgotten just how desperate he was to get to sleep. That was his room _ too,  _ damnit, there had to be some sort of rules about these kind of things. 

As he entered the common room once again, Neville flushed even more than what he thought was possible. He was going to just settle with sleeping on one of the couches by the fire, but the snickers and cheeky looks he got from Ron and Seamus, even Dean, told him that he wouldn’t live this down. 

If they noticed his situation down under, they didn’t mention it either. He took a deep breath as he lay down, and knew that he wasn’t ever going to be able to talk about the dreams that he’d have that night. 


End file.
